This is the story of a young bison bull

At the outset he went by the name of Bison bison, 

but that was not his name at the conclusion. 

Y’all settle in and I will relate to you the specifics of 

how he came to acquire 

his new name.

Bison bison lived in a bison herd in 

suchaways as you find in all narrative media 

pertaining to the illustration of life 

in the vast plains of our 

collective imagination.

He was a bison alright 

but he did have a number of individuating peculiarities.

He was big

Taller than the other bulls in the herd

And despite his favoring size

He was somewhat slower than the other bulls

With horns that stuck right out in front

Starkly contrasting with the other bulls

Who had horns going out the sides 

of their heads.

I’m not saying it was easy for Bison bison 

with those individuating peculiarities 

to find his place in the herd.

Truth is it saddens me to relay that

he was somewhat excluded and misunderstood 

from and by 

the other bison.

On one notable occasion, 

his insta photo ‘prairie at dawn’ was liked only three times, 

and one of those likers was his own mother. 

On a second notable occasion, 

when all the bulls and cows went on stampede, 

not one bull or cow told Bison bison where they were going, 

It was a number of days before he could locate them.

By then the stampede was winding down.

He arrived in time for singing around the campfire

about the particulars of the stampede.

Now that would sting anybody’s feelings.

It was not all exclusionary solitude for our young hero.

Bison bison did have one buddy

out there on the plains

who went by the name of Pickles.

I think he might have been one of 

God’s furry creatures 

from the great ape family

Who had taken to the plains at a tender age 

for his own reasons, 

and kept company with Bison bison 

just fine.

Pickles did not seem to mind those individuating peculiarities, possibly

on account of his having his own unique

eccentricities.

On one special day

Bison bison got all dressed up 

in blue jeans and new red shoes.

It was his birthday 

and he was anticipating 

some celebratory occasion.

But not one of his bison brethren

recalled it was his birthday 

and no salutations of any sort 

much less celebrations

were forthcoming from the herd.

Pickles was feeling for his buddy, 

As it were all dressed up with nowhere to go

so he visited on Bison bison and off they went right on up into the town. 

They got to one of those big marble buildings

with the two story columns out on the front porch, 

all the way up from the ground to the 

very top of the

building.

It was a museum of curiosities, 

Pertaining to and within containing the  models of all God’s creatures 

from a hundred countries of the world.

Well 

They saw models of the most extraordinary animals

Kangaroos, elephants, tigers 

and many other varieties of God's creatures 

whose names

I don’t even remember.

And then Pickles and Bison bison came across a model creature 

With specificities so well acquainted to their eyes 

they were quite beside themselves.

For Bison bison standing beside this model, 

it appeared that he truly was

standing beside himself.

Now as you probably guessed, 

It was a model of a bison

With the same exact individuating peculiarities

As Bison bison!

There was a sign at the museum 

Right there beside the model

by way of explanation 

The sign said the model was Bison bonasus 

Being a Polish bison

of the European variety, 

Who had travelled to the plains 

care of a landbridge 

which existed in an era 

prior.

Bison bison and his good buddy Pickles 

grew to an understanding that 

Bison bison’s individuating peculiarities 

signified nothing more dangerous nor concerning 

than that he was a 

Polish bison of the European variety,

Whose great grandmammy and pappy of some generations remove

had travelled to the plains

by that landbridge from the era prior.

Now y’all know the satisfaction of finding a hat 

That fits your head snug and comfy like.

So you can imagine how it was for Bison bison 

finding his true name.

From that moment, Bison bison adopted 

for purposes of all communications, 

spoken and written, 

the new and more befitting name 

Bison bonasus.  

I know in these turbulent contemporary times

It would bring you some comfort to hear that Bison bonasus

returned to his herd 

somewhat of a hero, 

no longer misunderstood or excluded.

And if he had gone back

That may have indeed been the case.

But truth is that's pure speculation on my part as

He did not return that day, and without that evidence

I can’t attest to the adaptability 

of the average bison in that herd to name changing of 

one amongst them.

Instead

Bison bonasus and Pickles, 

After some conferring on the options before them, concluded they were done 

with the herd and their excluding ways.

These two buddies realised they had

Become quite skilled at the life on the fringe as it were,

outside of the herd, keeping company and making do

With nonother than

their own two selves 

for all resources 

sought and delivered.

So Bison bonasus 

with his new name fitting like a fine hat

Put his buddy Pickles, from the great ape family

Up on his back

And they departed this story in a way

appropriate to the genre

riding off 

into the sunset 

All ready for new adventures

pertaining to their newfound interest in

amateur binomial nomenclature.